A New Olympic Sport

Once again, in continuing the craze of the Olympics, and the demand that you, the readers, have given for more posts regarding the aforementioned, I’ve decided to dedicate a post to what should be an Olympic sport, that of Work Softball leagues. What a travesty that this will be the last Olympics featuring the sports softball and baseball. At the same time, what an amazing opportunity for companies around the globe to team up and create what I will call the “Nerdy White People Softball Olympics I”. Let me briefly explain the title. Has anyone ever seen anyone that is not Caucasian playing softball? Baseball, yes. Softball, no. Why is this? Simply put, softball is lame. It’s lame much like it’s cousins, Kickball, and Basketball on mini-7 foot hoops. Any Sport that requires a bigger ball so people have a higher probability of hitting it is not a true athletes sport. Case in point, Utah’s most renowned Soft-Baller… Larry H. Miller (In the Utah Sports Hall of Fame and number 9 on Utah’s 100 greatest All-Time Athletes). While watching the 11 o'clock news this evening, I was privileged to see a little coverage of the Olympic softball teams battling it out for various championships and glory (...a leetle taste of de glory-Nacho Libre). It reminded me that I hate softball. I hate any sport that you have to swing a bat at some ball that is coming at you at who knows how fast. Definitely not my thing. To make matters worse, in this particular sport, the ball is practically the size of your head.

My work recently instituted a soft ball team. My last work participated in a similar league, and possibly the same one. What is the point of these leagues? I realize that the companies are trying to instill camaraderie, and help people get to know each other. One problem, I don’t truly wish to socialize and be “Outside Work Friends” with the people I work with, especially the ones that play softball. The select few I would actually like to hang out with, I most likely already do.

Now, don’t get me wrong, this is very much some people’s “thang.” The same ones that use band in high school to make friends, or who avidly frequent the same singles ward past the age of 30 in hopes of meeting that special someone, but stay in their social circles.

I have never been, nor do I plan to go, to a work softball game. The lone reason I may attend, would be to watch these people and see how talented they possibly could be. However, the true reason I will not participate…. I stink at softball. Thus, I will never be a “Nerdy White People Softball Olympics I” gold medalists.