Tricks to stuffing yourself this Turkey Day

I know many advice columns and articles out there focus on how NOT to stuff yourself this Thursday. Well, I would like to take a minute, so just sit right there, to tell you how to become the Thanksgiving Eating Professionare! Kate and I have great knowledge and experience when it comes to the Thanksgiving Thursday Thank Fest Stuff Yourself O Rama. The last couple years we’ve been attending at minimum 2, and at sometimes 3 gorge yourself meals. Here are some tricks I learned from Christmas dinner appointments on my mission to devouring all that’s in front of you, and leaving none offended:

• Bring your own Aerosol can of bathroom freshener. This will definitely come in handy, and those to you use the restroom after you after eating a 7 course meal will surely be grateful. In my family, It also comes in useful to ward off some unneeded and undesired teasing.

• If you wife doesn’t have any and has yet to 1) be pregnant, or 2) recently lost 100 lbs, go to the DI and purchase your own pair of maternity style stretchy sweat pants. This alleviates the need to undo that nasty top button, and also blinds you to the fact that you’ve gained 2 inches in one day. Often times I will stay in these pants the entire weekend, and not realize until the time rolls around to go to work the next Monday that my real pants do not fit.

• In an emergency situation, an extra stomach is often required on this fateful day. I’ve had a reverse gastro bypass surgery to help stretch out my stomach lining and fit more of Mom’s delicious chunky mashed potatoes into my pot of a belly.

• Walking to and from the serving table can be quite a labor some activity for someone focusing on food and football. Pace yourself, and, if needs be purchase a rascal or other personal assistance movement device to make your Thanks day more enjoyable and relaxing.

• Practice… as they say, practice makes perfect. Eating at least one “mock Thanksgiving Dinner” a day the week leading up to the big day can help you be able to avoid those nasty chewing accidents, and hold your own in impressing your family and dear ones. This started last Saturday with me at the Utah Tailgate party, and continued into yesterday with my parents with a Turkey dinner.

See the Change… Be the Change. If you can imagine the change you hope to see in yourselves on Thanksgiving Day, it’s only a matter of applying yourself to realize that Change.