Some of you doubt that I actually wrote my last 'Tips for Success' installment. Well, to demonstrate my entertaining, yet informative writing capabilities, as promised, I've decided to continue our series. Today's tips, top 10 tips on how to Ace the Interview!
10. If bald, buy a hairpiece. Hairpieces are classy and make a candidate appear young and hip. They impress. However, do not forget your hairpiece and excuse yourself from the interview, only to return wearing the hairpiece.
9. Challenge the interviewer to an arm wrestle. If you win, you’ve demonstrated great strength to your employer. If you lose, demonstrate humility and offer to “have another round.” This will show the interviewer that you never give up. If they decline, say you were just kidding and that that would be “totally inappropriate” for a job interview.
8. Ask to see the interviewer’s resume. It is important to ensure that the personnel executive is qualified to judge you as a candidate.
7. State that, if hired, you would demonstrate your loyalty to the employer by having the corporate logo tattooed on your forearm.
6. Ask the interviewer to put on a suit jacket (if they are not already wearing one), to insure that any offer’s you may receive are “formal.”
5. Play hard to get. One reason you may give for declining an offer might be “you pay too much.” This always leaves the employer wanting more and they always come back with another offer.
3. As I said before, play hard to get. Have a friend or family member call you during a job interview and pretend that it is another potential employer with a job offer. The employer with whom you are interviewing may ask if you are still interested in interviewing. Tell them that you are if they will pay more money.
2. If your stumped by an interviewer’s question, call your therapist or bishop and ask them for advice on answering a specific question.
1. Oversell your qualities. Employers want to hear about personal successes. If you can make great grilled cheese sandwiches, let them know. If you’re your families belch champion, let them know. Employers appreciate this candid, personal side.
8 comments:
Jordan, this is about your poll. I predict 9-3, a good season and this is why. Under Kyle, they have made slow but steady progress. 7-5, 8-4, 9-4...It follows the pattern, although because you did not include the bowl game, I would predict 10-3. Although, I think they finish 2nd in conference and beat BYU, BYU will go 11-2 (with one loss to us) and win the conference. Alas, we will be second. But who cares because we will have beaten them. That is my long answer.
Abe-
I really don’t see them losing 3 in the regular season. The only tough games on the schedule are @ Michigan, @ Air Force (Should be a win), Oregon State @ home (should be a win), TCU @ home and BYU @ Home. The schedule is really favoring the Utes to lose 1, maybe 2 games regular season max (Assuming they don’t blow games in the final minutes, but I think we’re over that).
Jake, that Wyoming game at Wyoming is going to be a pain! They are going to be wanting revenge for the onside kick gate. I might amend my prediction to 9-2, but I still can't count on them not blowing one to a team they should beat like NM.
By the way Jordan, good post. I will keep these hints in mind if I ever interview again.
Abe- That was not my answer...you were talking to Jordan again. Jordan, there is going to be a let down game. There is every year under Whittingham. Some team they should beat, but don't show up to play. Hopefully there will only be one this year. The Vegas game last year was just painful.
Oh and thanks for the tips, I will remember them in my next job interview.
Jacob
PS- I hope and pray that annual Whittingham "let down game" it is not the Weber State game. Old man McBride may have his players show up to play. Maybe they will run through hot coals or do some kind of weird ritual. McBride may want some revenge on Whittingham for applying for the U of U head coaching job while his body was still warm. But I don't really see them losing that game at home. I predict loses to Air Force, Wyoming, and TCU. Three confrences losses, tieing for second place in the Confrence, second to BYU....again. But I hope to be suprised. I do think we will beat BYU this year.
-Jacob
Jake- I really doubt that they lose to all three of those teams. TCU is not that good anymore. And, I really think they'll squeek one out against either Wyo or AF. I also agree, they will beat BYU. My prediction is one conference loss, and maybe one non-conference loss
I think they lose to Michigan and Wyoming. Air Force lost a TON of players from last year's average team. (I say average grudgingly because that "average team" beat us last year. But, they also lost their QB.
I don't think they lose once at home this year. I would love to see them win in the big house though. I will say this, they win in Michigan, there is a very good chance they go undefeated until BYU. That will give them the shot of confidence. They will feel like if they can beat Michigan in Michigan, they can beat any TCU or NM on their schedule.
I'm pretty sure they're going to lose at Michigan. The problem is that Appalachian State beat Michigan in the home opener last year, which sucks for us because Michigan learned the lesson to not overlook anybody.
We will probably lose at Wyoming. It's just a hard place to play, a huge homefield advantage, and the Utes will be intimidated and the Pokes will be looking for payback.
I predict going into the BYU game, we'll only have that one conference loss (and BYU will have either 1 or zero) so the game will be HUGE. Hopefully this year we can have some "magic happen" for us, but we'll see. I have learned to NEVER predict Utah/BYU games - it's just too much of a toss up.
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